#37.5 All That I Can’t Leave Behind is a Copper Roof

To me, being untamed has a lot to do with the twenty-ninth element.

Welcome back to this letter-writing series between Camille Prairie and I, where we discuss our perspectives on life as a twentysomething (Camille) and a…not-twentysomething (yours truly). If you haven’t read the other letters in this exchange, you can catch up with the links below:

1. Can Someone Tell Me What Life Is Really All About?

2. Flipping the Script

3. Am I a Cheetah Named Tabitha or a Dog Mom in Athleisure?

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Dear Camille,

Thanks for your thoughtful letter from last week. You’ve left me with two great questions: “What I want to take from my past into my 40s?”, and, “What does it mean to be untamed?”

Unlike our last exchange, though, it took me considerably longer to develop a satisfactory answer. But I think I got it.

…you might not notice day-to-day changes. Instead, it’s much more dramatic when “before” and “after” images are paired up against each other.¹

So, what do I take from my 20s and 30s into my 40s? It comes back to copper roofs.

Where I live, we find them usually on old landmark buildings (e.g., churches, government buildings). They start off as an exceptionally bright pinkish-orange colour, but morph over time to a softer sage green. (Other materials do it, too, e.g., denim, leather.)

The Parliament Building in Ottawa.

The most iconic of these in Canada is Parliament Building in Ottawa, but they seem to be on a lot of old government buildings. In my city, the copper dome was pulled from the rubble of the Saint John General Hospital hospital’s demolition, and repurposed into a new landmark.

The former dome of the Saint John General Hospital, living a second life as the Millennium Dome.

Of course, you have an infamous example of patina, too, in your country:

The Statue of Liberty, as seen from the Staten Island Ferry when I visited NYC for my 30th birthday; December 2011.

But I digress.

I guess what I’m saying is that’s what I’m bringing into my 40s. All my copper. I’ve changed over time due to exposure to many situations that, in turn, impart lessons on you. Remembering that everyone is going through shit, and your interaction with them in this very moment may have nothing to do with you personally. Or, that you will not be everyone’s cup of tea, and that that is not an indictment on how good of a person you are. Or, that it’s okay to drift apart from others as we learn and grow; we’re each exposed to different things that cause us to no longer align. It’s not a flaw, but a feature. (You’ll also be surprised at who might come back into your orbit - it works both ways.)

But that copper - that essence, that spirit - is still there. I’m still the same weird kid who wants to learn all the things and wears graphic tees and sneakers and listens to uncool music. I will never not be that person.

And I think that’s the answer to your second question: What does untamed mean to me?

It’s the opposite of tamed: not deprived of spirit, not toned down. What makes you live with enthusiasm? We tend to forget that it means something different for each person. We’re not all Instagram² worthy spreads of photos living a seemingly carefree yet absolutely curated “wanderlust” lifestyle.

So being untamed to me is knowing your unique spirit, and then honouring that without apology. There are a whole lot of opposing forces; “they” want you to play in the averages. Be an authentic weirdo. Be a geek about anything you like. Be an outlier. Acknowledge your copper, and don’t be ashamed of it.

I feel we’ve been rather serious in our exchange, though. So let’s end our last set of letters on another note.

What gives you hope for the New Year? What are you looking forward to the most?

And last, but certainly not least, in my view, please tell me more about your adorable dog! (As a means of pet tax, here’s my bitchy old cat, festooned in her annual holiday attire.)

No doubt she remembers this and is now using it as the impetus for waking me up at 5am for food.

I’m not sure what or if you celebrate, but if you do, happy holidays!

Bryn xx

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Thanks for reading this letter exchange. Before we finish our exchange on January 2, you can catch up with our previous letters (Camille: 1 2; Bryn 1), and subscribe to Camille’s newsletter: Adult-ish.

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1. Bryant A. Patina: What is it, How is it Made, and Where Does it Develop? Heddels. 28 Sep 2015.

2. As someone big into photography, I’ve actually gone off Instagram because of its pivot to focus on the overly glossy presentations. Authenticity does not seem to be desired in that space. (Insert GIF of Abe Simpson shaking fist at cloud.)